Do I choose the right path?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Am I choosing the right path? Am I doing the right thing? What if it isn't?
I'm scared. I am totally scared. A few months ago I received a letter saying I was chosen to study in Penang Matriculation College. I saw this as the last opportunity for me to pursue in Medicine as I wanted to be a doctor. But that was before I doubted what I really wanted to do in my life.
I do not know what I want! I just do not know. Actually I wanted to be a doctor since I was in kindergarten. But now I am kinda doubt with myself.
I stared at my Maths books and I was thinking about my friends having good results and they are doing great with their studies. Excelling their quizes, tests, examinations and of course getting 4 flats.
This might not be a big deal for you guys but it is for me. I hate seeing what the others get. I hate seeing when I did not get full marks in my quizzes and test as I do not learn anything in the lectures and tutorial. Plus, I hate having to explain to people how I am doing with my studies. It is getting worst when my cousins thought that I was doing great with my studies and teasing to be a doctor because no one in Babah's family being a doctor. My late grandpa once said to me that he wanted to see me as a doctor when I 25 years old.
Now I am barely surviving with my studies. One day I was thinking what if I just go to Law School as mummy want or go to Kelantan and studying Statistics. I knew she wants the best for me, to get good education and qualifications, to have a decent job, to live a grand life. But I was so stubborn I still pick the rocky road. I thought matriculation is goods for me but it seems not or it just me feel like that? Uhm I don't know. I fuggin don't know!
Afina once said to me that "Don't judge yourself by numbers. Allah always give what is the best for us." I might chosen the wrong route but I have to get out by going forward because the beginning is always the hardest.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Am I choosing the right path? Am I doing the right thing? What if it isn't?
I'm scared. I am totally scared. A few months ago I received a letter saying I was chosen to study in Penang Matriculation College. I saw this as the last opportunity for me to pursue in Medicine as I wanted to be a doctor. But that was before I doubted what I really wanted to do in my life.
I do not know what I want! I just do not know. Actually I wanted to be a doctor since I was in kindergarten. But now I am kinda doubt with myself.
I stared at my Maths books and I was thinking about my friends having good results and they are doing great with their studies. Excelling their quizes, tests, examinations and of course getting 4 flats.
This might not be a big deal for you guys but it is for me. I hate seeing what the others get. I hate seeing when I did not get full marks in my quizzes and test as I do not learn anything in the lectures and tutorial. Plus, I hate having to explain to people how I am doing with my studies. It is getting worst when my cousins thought that I was doing great with my studies and teasing to be a doctor because no one in Babah's family being a doctor. My late grandpa once said to me that he wanted to see me as a doctor when I 25 years old.
Now I am barely surviving with my studies. One day I was thinking what if I just go to Law School as mummy want or go to Kelantan and studying Statistics. I knew she wants the best for me, to get good education and qualifications, to have a decent job, to live a grand life. But I was so stubborn I still pick the rocky road. I thought matriculation is goods for me but it seems not or it just me feel like that? Uhm I don't know. I fuggin don't know!
Afina once said to me that "Don't judge yourself by numbers. Allah always give what is the best for us." I might chosen the wrong route but I have to get out by going forward because the beginning is always the hardest.
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